I thrive.

I'm just going on, I need to get this out of my mind. But come on! Why did it have to be you, the guy that I think about all the time. Why?! I thrive for your attention and love. And it's ridiculous to think that I would even come close to getting it. Why did it have to be you that my heart settled for. I don't understand, why this strong bond between us can't just be disconnected. I want you so bad already, I'm hurting myself just so it won't be that hard for me when your time comes to have a significant other. I wish it was me, I really do. Right there by your side, calling shot gun, going to placed far away and just driving to everywhere and anywhere. I just wanna be with you. I can't, and I really can't stop thinking about you. Even from the 1st day we met, you comforted me already. Things between us are just passing through. I wanna tell you all these things but these things are just forbidden. There is so many things I wanna do with you. If I could I would want to spend the rest of my youth with you, maybe even my life for possible. Readers, it's possible to love someone but they don't love you back :/. But he says he loves you, does he really? I try, and I try to see you all the time. I really do. Man, if I just had my L's and a car, baby I'll be with you all the damn time. Sigh*. Lions are so frustrating :/.

I really do get jealous, hella jealous when I see you with the same gender.. :(. Dude, I really did wish you just had the same feelings for me. You know what to do with me, you know what say, you know how I am, you know what I want and you know that you can provide that. You did it in the beginning, I don't understand why you can't do it now. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck my love life. The only guy who's perfect for me isn't really meant to be for us. I don't know how many times i can say this, but I fuckin' want an dneed you so bad. Why can't a nigga' just understand. My love for you is sooo big. It's like a football stadium flooded with Francis' and your the football player trying to win my love :). Fuck my love life. SERIOUSLY! It's like the embryo implanted on the fallopian tube instead of the lining in the uterus. Ugh, fuck. Sorry, it's a 'Health' class habit.

Oh my, oh my, boy the way you make me feel. So jubliant, so loved. I feel just right being with. I've never met a guy who can do these to my emotions. I wanna let you go, trust me I've tried. But booy, I can't I really can't. This is how bad I want you. i get shy and nervous, I pinch my skin because my heart is pumping so much. And when I hear your voice, it's like my lullaby. Your so cute, smile so big, and heart so loveable. But your restricted :(. I hate this. I really do. I love you, and I hope you know that..