Don't get me wrong.

2008-2009 was some of my best years. Oh man, I wanna tell you guys my love story, well actually my story of guys, boys, or whatever you call it.


All I have to say is that it all started on a website called Downelink. L O L! I guess everyone became my friend because the fact that I was a young little boy in the world that I did not know exist. I was amazed at the fact that people were gay, people had boyfriends and boyfriend, and girls had girlfriend and girlfriends. Downelink really did make me grow up because of the things that I saw, I learned, and what people have had said and taught me. All the guys I meant were so loving and so amazingly nice. If it wasn't for the people of Downelink, I would of probably been raped a couple of times, been broken hearted billions of times instead of millions of times. I met great guy there. Guys who I would thought would actually be my boyfriend. But I didn't really talk, talk too guys, but I gotta admit I did have some major crushes. I'll tell you one. The "one" basicially.


The #1 was Ranier Vince Castillo, A.K.A as Ranye. This guy was so patient, and loving. In the short amount of time we were talking, I found it pretty amazing that he was the only one that left the biggest impact on me. I remember our 1st date, it was in South San Francisco at Tanofran movie theater. His brother worked there, so we got in for free. I remember our movie, it was "Wall-E." He's never seen it and of course he's been wanting to watch it, and that was like the millionth time I have watched it in Theaters, I made over 20 people go with me on the 1st day that movie came. EARLY MORNING ALSO! (That is why I love having great and wodnerful, and also loads of friends). Back to my story, it was cute, it was one of those typical movie dates, lay on his shoulder, he put his arm around me, and also he held my hands. And I have to say his hands were so big and so well damn smooth. Ahhhhh, I loved holding them, it felt amazing just being with him. After the movies we went for Ice cream, I fed him, he fed me also. Then he asked, "Choose a letter, P or V." I know it sounds wrong, but I chose "V." And after I said it, he took me to the top of the hills right by where he had lived and he showed me the view of the city. And even in daylight, it meant a lot to me because it was not only beautiful, he took me to his place. It made me happy, he held me as we were watching the whole world pass by us, quiet, so still, but yet so perfect. The wind was perfect, the Sun was perfect, everything felt perfect. I kissed him on the cheek, he kissed me on my forehead. I felt safe, i felt wanted, I felt like the whole world was perfect. :).

A few more weeks later, things weren't so perfect. He let go of me.. I really didn't understand why.. but he did.. He was my Superman, he was my "Babe." He told me about what he wanted, I fell asleep with him, talking every night for countless hours. Listening to him snore, listening to him just talk was wonderful. But then everything was just like that. I think he left the biggest meaning in my so called love life because he was the only one that sticked through everything. And that made me happy.


No I hope 2010 will bring me the same guy, or maybe even a better guy. I really do hope, I have the highest hopes for it. 2009 disappointed me, but I know 2010 won't. I really hope.


The best part is I'VE NEVER EVER HAVE EVER HAVE HAD A BOYFRIEND. Real talk, I've never had a boyfriend, a real boyfriend, things only got pass the "Talking stage." And then never grew from that point on. Can you believe it?I didn't think so :).